#1 Guide for Disciplining - for example . . .squelching ugliness

“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” 
-2 Timothy 3:16,17

You just can't go wrong with the #1 parenting manual.  It's all there, no matter what the issue.  Different parents have many different approaches and styles for instructing, encouraging and disciplining their kids - they may use different approaches for each of their kids, as we often do.  Here is a method that works well for us.  When an unacceptable behavioral issue arises, we research our Bible for relevant scripture (we have never been disappointed - you name the issue, and it is covered).  We spend some one-on-one time with our child, give them the scripture reference(s) and have them read for themselves and then we discuss how it relates to what they are doing or how they are acting. (Of course, depending on the severity, at times this is accompanied with the loss of an applicable privilege!)

Here is a quick example.  We carpool, and more often than we'd like, we hear the kids poking fun at school-mates.  Sometimes it may be harmless but other times it could escalate to just plain ugliness.  In any case, we want to offer them something to think about:

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." 
-Ephesians 4:29

This covers a variety of sinful offenses, and it is a verse we use as a regular reminder of one of our primary purposes on this Earth - to encourage others with the love of Christ.

How do we REALLY keep Christ the central focus for teens??

Ok, I think we can all agree that keeping Christ as the central focus for our kids is of the utmost importance in keeping them on the right track. The question is, in today's world with all the distractions, how is that accomplished? As parents, what is our role? Answer: It is a continual work in progress and our role as parents must be to create new ways to inspire them, create conversation at the dinner table ( in between baseball, cheerleading, etc..) and, most importantly I think, lead by example.

The starting point for anyone should be to make God the first thought of every day. Teens can easily accomplish this by having some kind of a reminder. Maybe a note beside their bed or on the bathroom mirror so they see it every morning and they can take whatever portion of time to thank God for giving them this day and all of their blessings. Some days may allow for more time than others but the main point is to give God that first part of the day. As parents, we can set the example by our own routines and not be afraid to let our kids see us in this role. Take time in the morning (every morning) to read the bible and prayer. I made this commitment a couple of years ago and know that is has made a huge impact in my walk with Christ. My kids see it and know where they will find me every morning. I think (or I hope) it is setting an example for them.

The key is keeping God first every day. As I said above, some days may allow for more time than others (especially for teens). It is important for them to realize that so they can actually stick to the plan and look forward to it every day. They will quickly realize that putting God first in their thoughts, prayers and/or readings every day is pleasing to Him and keeps us all in His word.

"Listen to my voice in the morning, LORD. Each morning I bring my requests to You and wait expectantly. "
Psalm 5:3 (NLT)


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Hope for Our Teens

"He who fears the LORD has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge."
- Proverbs 14:26

Teenage years can certainly be considered a major frontier era in our lives.  It is during this time, transitioning between childhood and adulthood, that we are faced with a multitude of crucial decisions. . .decisions which may lead to experiences, good or bad, that will frame our future.

If Christ is a central focus, with an understanding of why He came and what He did for all of us, a young life may be lived with focus and purpose.  This understanding helps us know how to truly care about others, how to be a real friend, and how to make wise decisions and healthy choices.  The emptiness that many of us and our teens may feel, at one time or another, will be satisfied continually, by living in Christ and keeping Him in our hearts. 

Doubts are transformed into faith when we simply choose to believe.  Christ lived and died so that we could be saved from our sins and inherit life, a real life here on Earth and an eternal life with God, as His blessed children.  When we earnestly ask Christ into our hearts, the grace of God takes over.  Negative feelings are truly transformed, as a result of the Holy Spirit taking control of our thoughts, word, and actions.  His fruit begins pouring forth, providing us with confidence in our battles against the twisted messages of the world.

The greatest gift we can give our children is the opportunity to know Him now and to live a purposeful life right from the start.  The purpose to know and please God, share Jesus' love, and glorify and praise Him in everything will fill us and them with a joy and peace nothing else can touch.  Of course our children will have troubles and heartaches, but we can be thankful Jesus is by their side; with Him they will respond to those issues with grace and wisdom, and their lives will be enriched by those experiences, rather than haunted by regrets.  My heart bursts with that hope; and I pray our children's relationships with God will continue to grow so they can each be acutely aware of their gifts and the purpose of their lives, for His glory. . .from their teenage years forward.


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